PuterGeek.Com News
Issue # 43
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Now for the good stuff!
Behold the Fisherman!
He Riseth Up Early in the Morning,
and Disturbeth the Whole Household.
Mighty are His Preparations.
He Goeth Forth Full of Hope.
And When the Day is spent, He Returneth,
Smelling of Strong Drink.
And the Truth is not with Him...
The story behind the letter below is that a man in Newport, R.I.,
Scott Williams, digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff
he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific
names and insisting they are actual archaeological finds. Here's an
actual response from the Smithsonian Institute:
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078
Dear Mr. Williams:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled
"93211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post... Hominid skull."
We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and
regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it
represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in
Charleston County two million years ago. Rather, it appears that what
you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety that one
of our staff, who has small children, believes to be "Malibu Barbie."
It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the
analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of
us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to
come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that
there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen that might
have tipped you off to its modern origin:
1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are
typically fossilized bone.
2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic
centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified
proto-homonids.
3. The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent with
the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous man-eating
Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.
This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing
hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution,
but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without
going into too much detail, let us say that:
A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has
chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth. It is with feelings tinged with melancholy
that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon-dated.
This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its
normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious
inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record.
To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to
AD 1956, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate
results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the
National Science Foundation Phylogeny Department with the concept of
assigning your specimen the scientific name Australopithecus
spiff-arino.
Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the
acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down
because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't
really sound like it might be Latin. However, we gladly accept your
generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While
it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet
another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to
accumulate here so effortlessly.
You should know that our director has reserved a special shelf in his
own office for the display of the specimens you have previously
submitted to the Institute, and the entire staff speculates daily on
what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have
discovered in your Newport backyard.
We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you
proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the
director to pay for it.
We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories
surrounding the trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous metal in a
structural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile tyrannosaurus rex
femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a
rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Chief Curator-Antiquities
To Vote or Not to Vote
----------------------------------------------------------------
From the
Sm@rtPartner Magazine October 2, 2000 issue (by Eric Carr):
"First, Microsoft PR told us to mark our Calendar for a .NET technical
workshop on Nov. 7 and 8 in Redmond. Next, they attempted to entice us with
secrecy and goodies. 'The contents of the session are under NDA until we
announce beta 1 of the product.'
Then they drop the bomb. 'We realize that Tuesday, Nov. 7 is Election Day
and that voting is incredibly important. We'd encourage you to sign up for
an absentee ballot in your area so that you can take part in this
presidential election....'
Translation: Voting's important, but there's no freedom from Microsoft."
New Sony Dog Coming
----------------------------------------------------------------
Last summer, Sony's robot dog Aibo was released and it quickly sold out. I
guess they figure Aibo is getting lonely, so they have announced that they
will be creating another one. No details have been released yet, but with
the demand there was for the last one, I'm sure it will be even higher for
this one.
Cheap Trick of the Week
----------------------------------------------------------------
**History buffer**
Want to quickly go back to a site you were on last night? If you have Web
History on your Start menu, you can do this. Here's how to set it up:
Right-click on the Start button and select Explore. You should land in
Windows Explorer with the Start Menu folder open within the Windows folder.
Right-click in the right pane and select New and Folder from the context
menu. This creates an item called New Folder. Click to select the name and
type Web History.{FF393560-C2A7-11CF-BFF4-4445 53540000} as its new name.
(There are no spaces, there is a period after "History", those funny
brackets are found above the square brackets on your keyboard, and those are
zeros - not letter O's - in the long string of characters.) Press Enter and
the folder name will collapse to "Web History".
Close Explorer, click the Start button and you'll find Web History on the
menu.
Now you can select from this menu any site previously visited online.
Provided your Internet connection is set up properly, your browser will
open, you'll log on, and you'll go right to that Web page.
NOTE: I do this to every 'puter I work on! - Peter
Adobe Site Hacked
----------------------------------------------------------------
"An attacker hijacked Adobe.com from its owner, Adobe Systems Inc. Tuesday,
disrupting the big software firm's Web server and e-mail service for most of
Wednesday.
Adobe Systems Vice President of Information Systems Gerrard Rutter confirmed
Thursday that an as-yet unidentified attacker was able to perform an
unauthorized modification of the domain record for adobe.com."
This is not the first time that Network Solutions has allowed an
unauthorized person to change domain records. It certainly doesn't reflect
well on them.
OFFICE 2001 FOR MAC
Office 2001 for Mac is the newest way for Macintosh users to get their work done efficiently. The suite features Word, Excel, Entourage, and PowerPoint(r) as well as a new interface with a
modern Macintosh look. The new release takes advantage of key Apple technologies such as QuickTime and Mac OS innovations such as Navigation Services.
http://www.microsoft.com/insider/mi/pfoffmac.htm
INSTALLING WINDOWS ME ON YOUR COMPUTER
This in-depth article provides information on what you need to know before you purchase, upgrade, or install Windows(r) Millennium Edition (Me). It also describes some common setup issues, how
to resolve them, and how to contact Microsoft Product Support Services.
http://www.microsoft.com/insider/mi/pfinstalme.htm
SO YOUR CHILD WANTS A NEW COMPUTER
As if outfitting your kids with the latest fashion trends isn't hard enough - now they want a top-of-the-line computer. Read "A Parents Guide to Buying a PC" to learn exactly what specifications
are essential and how to save yourself time and money in the process.
http://www.microsoft.com/insider/mi/pfkidcom.htm
MSN EXPLORER
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I want to share with you my perspective on MSN Explorer Preview
Beta 2 Preview:
I looked at the earlier MSN Explorer Preview 1 version of this
software and came away mildly impressed and also frustrated with
the heavy-handed push toward the use of Hotmail. Microsoft dumped
that requirement in the Preview 2 release, and seems to be moving
toward a more even-handed approach. Although one major drawback
of Preview 2 is that it prevents you from using Outlook Express
to read MSN e-mail (if you're an MSN subscriber). You also have
to be connected to the Internet to read any mail. Also, it should
be noted that adding a Hotmail account to this product adds
greatly to its usefulness, at least for its target users. But
existing Outlook Express users: Steer clear.
Before I get ahead of myself, you need to know what MSN
Explorer really is. It's not the next version of Internet
Explorer, although it might look something like that. Like
several other products, including the NeoPlanet browser, MSN
Explorer provides a very different looking skin for the
embeddable IE browser. It also incorporates content links in a
channel bar, e-mail, MSN Messenger, and an embedded Windows Media
Player 7.0 window to create a unified Internet experience aimed
primarily at beginners.
In short, this is Microsoft's first truly concentrated
effort to take on AOL on its home turf. You can see that
Microsoft carefully studied both what AOL has done well, and what
it's done poorly. And it has tried very hard to develop a
pleasant, low maintenance environment that does all the main
things, without bringing along the complexity most of us have
come to expect from Windows programs. I think MSN Explorer will
have a strong appeal among novice computer users who heed the
warnings they may be hearing about AOL, but who don't want to
spend hours transforming themselves into geeks.
You don't have to be an MSN subscriber to use MSN Explorer,
which is after all really a browser that ties MSN Messenger and
Hotmail all into one neat package. But many people will be
tempted, I think, to make MSN's dial-up ISP services a part of
the bargain.
I've written about MSN in the past, and have mixed feelings
about it:
MSN gets the backend right: Plenty of points of presence,
connections are fast, solid, and reliable. It's a little pricey
at $21.95, but not enough more to matter. It's not a bad service
choice. Unless you don't happen to use Microsoft applications for
e-mail or browsing. Because, you see, the MSN 5.1 software is
like an entire Windows makeover that installs things, without
giving you options. You can't simply make a Dial-Up Networking
connectoid for MSN and expect it to work. Similarly, I've never
been able to get MSN to work with my e-mail client of choice:
Eudora E-mail. When I make an ISP my primary ISP, I don't want it
to dictate software choices to me.
So, I guess MSN and MSN Explorer both remind me a little bit
too much of AOL for comfort. They're both services that impose
proprietary solutions on their users. AOL more than MSN, but the
similarity is ironic.
We'll have to wait for the final version of MSN Explorer,
which could be around the corner, to see if Microsoft cleaned up
some of the negatives: Particularly the disabling of Outlook
Express. But I do think MSN Explorer will be successful in being
a notable alternative to AOL. I'm just not sure that more
experienced users like us will be any more likely to recommend
MSN Explorer to friends and relatives than we are to recommend
AOL.
Have you discovered a relatively unknown Windows-related Web site
that Insider readers should know about? Please send me the URL,
and let me know why you liked it:
mailto:win_insider@scotfinnie.com?Link_of_the_Week
NOTE: You're welcome to tell him why you like PuterGeek.Com - Peter
ANOTHER DOG FROM SONY
Now here's a computer that should understand when you threaten it.
Remember the Aibo? It was the extremely limited edition $2,500 robot
dog from Sony that was such a sensation last year. Now, demonstrating
once again that technology gets cheaper and better, there's a new
Aibo. And while this one isn't exactly inexpensive, it does appear to
be new and improved.
The new Aibo features 20 joints, instead of the previous model's 16,
and adds touch sensors on its chin, head and back. With an optional
software package, the Aibo will be able to "mature," recognize voice
commands and take pictures with the cam in its snout. In addition,
Sony's press release says, "six multi-colored LEDs on the face and
two on the tail allow Aibo to show a rich variety of emotions through
independent blinking." I do the same thing.
Where there was a strict limit to the number of Aibos available last
year, Sony promises to fill orders for anyone who wants an Aibo this
year enough to cough up the requisite $1,500. The pups are available
starting November 15 online, in Sharper Image stores, and at Sony's
SonyStyle boutiques. If you can't get a PlayStation 2, you know....
New ZoneAlarm Version
Long-time readers know we've covered ZoneAlarm many times (see
http://search.atomz.com/search/?sp-q=zonealarm&sp-a=0008002a-sp00000000 );
in fact, LangaList readers were among the first, anywhere, to learn about
ZoneAlarm. A "personal firewall," ZoneAlarm software helps protect you
against malicious internet hackers, and can even guard against some email
Trojan-horse programs and other apps that may try to "phone home" behind
your back.
The new version is a very minor update from the last, but it's still
good to stay up to date--- and thanks to reader J. M. Dixon for being
first to tell us about the new version.
A Batch File Bonanza:
84 FREE Reader-Created Batch Files/DOS Tools
It's been a long haul and we've covered an enormous amount of ground, but
we're finally reaching the end of our "Save Your Butt With DOS" series
that's been running on the WinMag.Com site.
And it's a spectacular finish, offering 84 free reader-written batch
files you can download and use for system maintenance, as general
utilities, as teaching tools, and more.
As you may recall, the "Save Your Butt With DOS" series was and is
designed to help you create a DOS-based maintenance/repair/recovery
toolkit you could stick on a shelf against future need; a toolkit that
can help you get yourself out of system trouble even if you can't run
Windows itself, or if you end up in a DOS-free version of Windows (such
as Windows 2000) or a reduced-DOS version (such as WinMe).
Along the way, we discussed how to create your own batch files, and I
invited you to send in the best files you'd created. Many, many of you
did just that, and I received hundreds of sample files to try out:
Some were small utilities that performed one function that could be used
as-is or within other, larger files (such as a tiny batch file that
stores the date as separate year, month, and day system variables that
can easily be accessed by any other program). Others were extremely
sophisticated, such a batch file used as part of a corporation's nightly
ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning) processing; or a batch file that
collects, sorts, and automatically faxes a day's messages to a
geographically scattered workforce. Some even rivaled commercial apps,
such as a batch file technique that uses the DOS version of PKZip to
perform a complete, compressed system backup.
I spent several days last week going through all the submitted files, and
it was an amazing experience. First and foremost, thanks to everyone who
participated!
All the submitted files offered something of interest--- a clever
technique, an interesting application, an unusual approach. It wasn't
easy, but I finally boiled down the entries to 84 files. I chose these
particular files because they all can be extremely useful either as-is,
or as teaching tools that will spark ideas that you can modify for your
own particular needs.
The 84 top submissions fall into seven general categories:
Extensions/Modifications Of The Original Win9x Cleanup Batch Files
presented in Parts Four and Five of this series (see above)
Adaptations Of The Win9x Cleanup Concepts To Win2K
Alternative Cleaning Tools that take different approaches to
cleanup, or that target very different files---such as those from ICQ---
than the original CleanUp did
Batch-Driven System File Save/Restore, and Backups that offer manual
and automatic backups of various files by a variety of techniques
Registry Tools to (compact, manage, and maintain your Registry, from DOS
Miscellaneous files that span a wide range of interesting DOS tools
and utilities
Extra-Cool, Extra-Powerful Files that are longer, more complicated,
and that go far beyond the basics
Some of the submissions are ready-to-run; others contain information (and
links to information) that you can adapt as you wish; and still others
(especially the more complex ones) show the batch file in plain-text form
that you can cut, paste, and edit to suit your own specific needs.
The column, and the descriptions/links to all the batch files, will go
live midday [UT-4] on Monday October 23rd. The column will appear under
the "Explorer" heading on
http://www.winmag.com/columns/ ; if you arrive
early, you'll see the previous column "Save Your Butt With DOS: Pulling
It All Together;" just try again a little later.
May I Say The B-Word?
No, no *that* b-word! I mean (I'll whisper it) "batch."
I don't want to beat the subject into the ground. And in fact, the long
series we just finished on the WinMag site (see
www.winmag.com/columns/explorer/2000/22.htm ) was designed to be a kind of
coda to batch files--- a "last hurrah" as we leave the subject, likely
never to return.
Enjoy!
HTML Calendar Creator v1.0.0.0 [172k] W9x/NT/2k FREE
{Make monthly Web calendars} Before Microsoft Outlook entered my life, birthdays and anniversaries inadvertently got skipped. I can't even keep up with my (real) desktop calendar... it reads:
June 29, 1947. See what I mean!? I'm late for supper every night because it isn't on my schedule. Gretchen got smart and started to upload our 'family' calendar to the Web, assisted by this simple
gizmo. You don't need any HTML experience to do it yourself (for novices, Windows 98's FrontPage Express will help you fill in the blanks). Now I actually PLAN on being late for supper, so I don't
feel as bad (and neither does Sprocket, who usually gets my portions).
Windows 2000 White Papers
"This area provides technical information about the features of the Windows 2000 operating system. Get architectural overviews and usage scenarios, functional specifications, planning and
deployment papers, and best practices. The papers are broken down by the following categories: Current Releases, Planning and Deployment, Management Services, Directory Services, Communications and
Networking Services, Web and Application Services, Security Services, Terminal Services, Microsoft Metadirectory Services, File and Print Services, Windows Clustering Technologies, and Other. Also
available is the Windows 2000 Disaster Recovery document."
Burning CDs Successfully with Windows 2000
"Recordable and rewritable compact disk drives are booming in popularity. These multi-purpose devices let you back up your PC data and play or copy music CDs. As a storage format, the CD has
some technical tradeoffs. For example, you must save a full disk or full track's worth of data at once (typically 600K minimum). But the dominance of the CD as a music medium has made CD burners
widespread and affordable. There is no question that CD burners today have a commanding lead over other formats in the contest to replace the floppy disk drive. Zip drives hold less; DVD-RAM is more
costly and too new."
Copy/Move To... v1.00 [468k] W9x FREE
{Send objects elsewhere} Imagine if you had to call a postal courier every time you wanted to send a file from one folder on your system to another. At least they have tracking online nowadays.
Lucky for 99% of the world, we don't have to rely on third-party package people to rearrange our PC stuff. Copying or moving a single file (or series of files and folders) to a 'distant' destination
isn't too daunting a task, but there are ways it could be made easier. Specifically, some shell extension which would bring up the two most recently used folders so one would not have to open up the
applet every time they wished to move / copy a file (or series of files and folders) to a new location. Get it? Get it.
Windows Me SupportLive Chat Transcripts
"Wondering about installing or upgrading to Microsoft's newest operating system, Windows Me? Ask our support experts your questions during a free SupportLive chat. See the chat calendar for a
listing of upcoming chats. To participate in the chat, return here at the scheduled chat time look for the chat now link. Note: We'll close the chat rooms to new visitors 15 minutes prior to the end
of the session to make sure we can answer as many final questions as possible. So get here early and stay late! The SupportLive Chat was created so our customers could ask Support Professionals basic
questions about Microsoft Products."
Enabling UDMA66 Mode on Intel Chipsets (windows 2000)
"The UDMA66 mode is disabled by default on a Windows 2000 computer with a Intel chipset that supports UDMA66. This is by design. The procedure in the "More Information" section explains how to
enable it. For information about how to edit the registry, view the "Changing Keys and Values" Help topic in Registry Editor (Regedit.exe) or the "Add and Delete Information in the Registry" and
"Edit Registry Data" Help topics in Regedt32.exe. Note that you should back up the registry before you edit it. If you are running Windows NT or Windows 2000, you should also update your Emergency
Repair Disk (ERD)."
Multi Tray Ping v1.04 [871k] W9x/NT/2k FREE
"Do you need to monitor multiple servers and have a quick visual indication of their status. Do you need to keep active a connection between your machine and a remote server either on your local
network or internet while you work. Well then Multi Tray Ping is for you! Multi Tray Ping is a easy to use ping monitoring program for Windows NT and Windows 9x*. It allows you to test the response
of a remote hosts at set intervals using ICMP (Internet Control Message Protocol). You can have multiple pings active at the same time and their status is indicated by a traffic light icon in the
system tray. Each host can be configured to have it's own settings specifying ping frequency, IP address, packet size and timeout, etc."
That's it for this time!
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Last Revised: 10/23/2000